Lately I have been thinking a lot about the past. The things in the past that if I could I would go back and change. Things I've said, things I have done, etc. Like back during the last semester of high school (especially the week of Prom) there are many things I would change.
I often wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't said some certain things or done certain things. Would I be happier or would things be even more difficult?
I am very thankful for all those who have stuck with me even when I have said/done something not very smart or very hurtful.
My family both immediate and extended have taken a lot of gruff from me but are still by my side. For example my saint of a mother. I have said and done a lot of things that have hurt her but I know she is still on my side. I know she loves me no matter what I do or say.
I want to apologize to everyone that I might have said something mean or hurtful or done something mean to. I am truly, truly sorry. I am not going to make any excuses for doing or saying what I did because there are none. I hope some way, if you haven't already, find some way to forgive me for what I said or did.
I also have been thinking about what happened last week in Newtown Connecticut. I am absolutely sorry for those who were affected by it. All of those individuals who were killed were not old enough to die yet, especially those children. I have a nephew around the same age and I cannot imagine life without him or what I would have done if he was one of the victims. My world probably would be shattered.
I was more hurt when I found out that the gunman had Asperger's like me. It makes me not so proud anymore to say that I have Asperger's. This is probably because I am worried that people will think that everyone with Asperger's is a serial killer. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!!!! Just because one person who has a disorder/syndrome does something doesn't me everyone else who has that disorder/syndrome will do the same thing.
Everyone is "wired" differently. It is like saying that two people who wear glasses will do the exact same things. We all adapt differently.
Okay I'll get of my soap box now.
I hope all is well with you and all those around you. Remember to tell those that are dear to you that you care about them. You never know, it could be the last time you see them or speak to them again. Cherish every minute you have with your loved ones.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
